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December 2011



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Dec. 20th, 2011

I'm so sorry I've been gone.

Dear Livejournal,

I'm so sorry I haven't posted here in such a long time. I switched over to blogger, and I'm happy with it, kind of. But too many of my friends read it now and I can't post my true feelings anymore.

Here's my life in a nutshell: Nick broke up with me again. Go figure. September 28th. Said he was "apathetic." Okay sure, whatever. I'm so done with dealing with excuses. I found God, but now I feel like I'm losing him again. Tyler and I kind of had a thing, but not really. We told each other we liked each other, then he broke it off tonight (Which is probably for the best, because I've felt like God was keeping us apart from the beginning). His ex flipped her shit cause someone told her we were dating. (I'm guessing it was Brianna, and I'm not too happy.) It shouldn't matter though, cause she's his EX for a reason. Whatever. But I guess I was clinging to Tyler not because I wanted to date him, but because I wanted to feel wanted. I don't feel that anymore. Nick has broken up with me twice now, and to me, that says, "you're not good enough, and you never will be." I'm so hurt by all of this. And I don't know how to fix it. For whatever reason, I feel like I need a guy in my life. And I shouldn't, because I don't. But that's how I feel. I need something stable, and right now, there is nothing.

I've been working out for the past 5 days, everyday, because I have gotten ridiculously fat and I am freaking TIRED OF IT. I hope I can get this Freshman 15 off before the show, or I will kill myself. (not literally)

But that's all I guess. I just wanted to rant because I have nowhere else to do it, and no one to talk to right now. My life is in such a shambles.

All I want to do is run away to Italy and forget about everything that's here.

May. 29th, 2011

Close enough to start a war.

My new theme song.

May. 23rd, 2010

Thirteen is an UNLUCKY number, but when did four become LUCKY?

I was pondering things the other day at work(mowing). Actually, it was pretty random. I mowed over a clover patch and I got to thinking...

"Are four-leaf clovers only lucky because you're lucky to find one??"

Well... Are they?!

My thought is, if you're lucky enough to find one, are you so lucky that it just carries over? OR since you're so lucky that you found it, does your luck run out??


And THAT, ladies and gents, is the extent of my intelligence these days. :]

Feb. 9th, 2010

Oh my goat;

People keep asking me why I tell them to go to my livejournal, but I haven't wrote anything yet.. Well I have, it is all just set to friends only.. So friend me! :]